My Body Wanted to Talk With Me

My Body Wanted to Talk With Me

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In 2011, I had started to explore what I am without my programs (see “The OTHER Story of the Eagle in the Chicken Coop”).

In spring 2014, I developed pain in my right jaw. I saw my dentist. He found my teeth OK.

Assuming that the right jaw joint was causing the pain I consulted an osteopath. She confirmed my assumption and suggested four appointments, one per week.

After the first appointment, the pain was gone. During the three weeks between the first and the last appointment I was free of pain. Immediately after the fourth appointment, on my way to my car, the pain came back with the same intensity as before the treatment had begun.

The only reasonable explanation was that my body wanted to talk with me. I assumed he said: “I don’t want you to suppress or shift the pain. I want to talk to you. Pain is part of my language.”

I was ready to listen. During the following weeks I observed my life and my behavior against the background of my jaw pain. I found a pattern between behavior and pain. Every time I followed this pattern, the pain increased. By willfully leaving the pattern the pain disappeared completely.

This was a key experience.

Soon after I had an accident on a hike. I got stuck with my right forefoot, tumbled, and broke the big toe.

I already had accepted that my body talks. If it talks through diseases, it also talks through accidents. What was the message of the broken toe?

My toe had gotten stuck. Where in my life was I stuck?

The answer was obvious. I was stuck with my explorations. I had began to explore what I am without my programs. But I hadn’t made any progress for months. And all my insights had remained theory.

Why?

Because I continued to follow the human chicken program. I had continued to live “my human chicken coop life” without changing anything. But the eagle cannot free his eagleness when continuing to live the life of a chicken!

I gathered all my courage and decided to do a most radical step: leave the human chicken coop. I ended my career and my relationship. I said farewell to family and friends, gave away my belongings, and sold my apartment. I moved to Scharnstein, a small village near the mountains in Upper Austria.

From now on I lived without social interaction. I had only the most essential social contacts such as for grocery shopping. I dedicated 100% of my time to explore the question “What am I without my programs?”

The most exciting and most fulfilling time of my life had begun.